Dead Hearts
by Kelsers
Summary: The flag lied as limp as death over the coffin. Her tears threatened to drown her, but she had to live. Because he still did. He followed her through every heartbreak, though his no longer beat. She wished for death over anything. AU Short Story
1. Chapter 1

**Summary:The flag lied as limp as death over the coffin. Her tears threatened to drown her, but she had to live. Because he still did. He followed her through every heartbreak, though his no longer beat. She wished for death over anything. Not a oneshot.**

**Angel by Sarah McLachlan. Look it up on youtube. Before reading. **

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Spend all your time waiting

_For a second chance_

_For a break that would make it okay_

_I need some distraction_

_Oh beautiful release_

_Memory seeps from my veins_

He stood in the shelter of the thick evergreens, watching his own burial in front of him. The black horses pulled the cart with his empty coffin; the American flag draped over it fluttered and swayed lightly. His seven other brothers from his command, dressed and polished in their uniforms, their cocked rifles had respectively out in front of them, walked alongside the marching animals. Next came all the ladies and gentleman dressed in black, blowing their noses or sobbing into tissues.

But the only person who mattered in the crowd before him was the petite girl with long, mahogany hair tied back in a blood red ribbon. Her father led her numbly across the wet grass to his grave site. Tears were pouring down her face in masses, but she did nothing to wipe them away. The beautiful girl just let them fall with the slight sprinkle from the clouds above.

_**Why?** _

He would have rather died a hundred deaths in the war, or anywhere for that matter, just to take his beautiful almost-bride-to-be out of this pain.

She pulled away from her father and ran to the lip of the hole. Her pink lips opened in a silent scream as she watched his brothers lower his supposed body into the ground. Her hands clenched into the mud surrounding her, but she didn't have any knowledge of where she was anymore. The only thing she knew was pain.

She tilted her pretty face to the heavens and screamed, sobs choking her. Several people stepped forward to go to her, but thankfully her father stopped them. They all watched helplessly as the rivers ran down her face, drowning her already dead heart.

"_Why_?" she cried hoarsely into the rain, "Why did you take him?"

He felt his non-beating heart shatter as he watched her frail hands grip the edge of the hole while she crumpled into a ball.

"Bella," he whispered inaudibly to himself. He choked on dry sobs, wishing for nothing more than to be the one crying with his love.

_Let me be empty_

_And weightless and maybe_

_I'll find some peace tonight_

Slowly, her screams faded, only leaving quaking sobs. Her chest ripped open every time she felt someone's hands on my back or words in her ear as people started to disperse, for every hand she felt was his and every sound she heard came from his mouth.

She distantly watched her love's brothers from the field empty the soil back into the grave, and silently wondered about jumping in there and curling up with him. She already felt dead anyways. She had nothing left to live for now that he's dead.

The final thought crashed through her mind, blinding her with pain and burning the inside of her skull. The weeping girl's hands came up to claw at her head and her empty stomach heaved. But, she had nothing to give.

_**Nothing to give. Nothing to live for.**_

Life was meaningless.

_In the arms of the angel_

_Fly away from here_

_From this dark, cold meadow here_

_And the endlessness you fear_

_Of your silent reverie_

_You're in the arms of the angel_

_May you find some comfort there_

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**Good or Bad? Review? **

**Yeah, I like music a lot. **

**I'll post the next chapter if people like it :)**

**NewResolution**

**-Kelsey**


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary: The flag lied as limp as death over the coffin. Her tears threatened to drown her, but she had to live. Because he still did. He followed her through every heartbreak, though his no longer beat. She wished for death over anything.**

**Next chapter :)**

**I don't own this by the way, if anyone might have thought I did. **

**Say (All I Need) by OneRepublic. Look it up before reading. **

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_Do you know where your heart is_

_Do you think you can find it_

She didn't know how long she had lied there, curled into herself on the grass. Her clothes were completely soaked through. But she didn't care, for she was numb to this world now.

Finally, after hushed murmurs and pitied looks that she did not wish to feel, everyone started to leave in pairs. Her father was the only one left-huddled under his umbrella in the far corner of the yard. She could feel his reluctance to leave, but it was inevitable that he would. He wouldn't try to console her or tell her it will be alright. He knew that it wouldn't be. And she knew that he knew. Everyone knew.

_Inevitable._

_You felt it so strong, but_

_Nothing's turned out how you wanted_

The damp grass clung to her face as the wind picked up. An involuntary shutter shot down her spine and her teeth chattered. But, she wouldn't move. Not yet, not until completely necessary.

She suddenly felt the familiar feeling, the tingling electricity radiating from her stomach, the sensation she had every time he was around. It brought on a fresh wave of tears, washing away the old tracks. She suddenly screamed through her scratchy windpipes and shot straight up off the ground. Her dress and coat stuck to her skin and the ribbon slowly slid out of her hair, freeing it to the wind whipping around her.

She could feel it. Feel him. Edward.

Was she crazy? Did the pain bring her to delusions? Was it her body trying desperately to numb the sorrow? She wished for all those questions to be true, but as she slowly turned around, she knew deep in her bones that they weren't.

There he was. **_Edward_.**

His hand was still stretched towards her, where he had gently brushed away the hair from the back of her neck like from the normal days behind them. _**But he was different.**_ She gasped and felt her heart stop before stuttering back to its race. His skin was paler than his normal white complexion. He was always perfect: chiseled face, toned muscles. But now, he looked like an angel straight from heaven.

A broken angel.

His face was twisted in agony and she could see silent sobs heaving in his chest. But his eyes were dry.

She screamed again and backed away. His eyes - they were blood red; the same shade as the ribbon that floated out of her limp hand.

"Edward," she croaked. She could see the pain rage through his familiar, yet so different, face. But, his eyes held her captive. They were wide and empty, completely hollow. Like someone took a spoon and gouged his heart out through them.

"Bella," his broken whisper floated to her, more musical and beautiful than ever before. He took a light step towards her, and she stumbled two back.

She saw his heart breaking further through his eyes, his once beautiful green eyes. But as different as they were, they were still wide open to her. She felt her body being pulled in two. Her heart and soul pushed her to run to him, be held in his arms, and take the stabbing pain away from them both. But, her head cried at her to run away from this unknown.

How was he here? How is he alive? She'd heard the bloody story, seen the cold, still body, but there he was, breaking right in front of her eyes. And she knew she wasn't dreaming; her imagination could never do him this justice.

She tripped a small step forward, slightly reaching her arms out to him. "How?" she whispered.

And she could see the shock plastered on his face before her instincts quickly took a hold of her. She spun on her heel and fled into the trees.

_Well bless my soul_

_You're a lonely soul_

_For you won't let go_

_Of anything you hold_

The tiny shred of heart that had picked itself back up when she had started towards him was shot down as she ran away. Away from him. The pain knocked him to his knees and he howled up to the skies. Much the same way she had. His thoughts were always centered on her, always bringing him back to her.

He had found his soul mate, his other half, only to have it ripped away and then patched together time and time again until it was too much to handle.

**_Can't survive this_.**

He had thought bringing himself back to her would make it all right again. But it had only killed them that much further.

_Do you know what your fate is_

_Are you trying to shake it_

He brought his face down from the skies and buried it in the grass, relishing in her sweet scent still laying there. But, something red caught his eye. He looked up and found the ribbon dangling in a weed not a foot away from him. He gently gathered it in his marble hands. The silk reminded him of all the times he had held her hand, stroked her cheek, and played with her hair.

And as he stared blankly down on the insignificant piece of fabric in his hands, he realized that no matter how she had reacted towards him, no matter if she still loved him or not, no matter if she moved on, he would be there. He would dance around the edges of her life, watching her and keeping her out of harm.

_Unknowingly._

_You're doing your best and_

_Praying that you make it_

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**Good? Review?**

**I'm entering a oneshot into Daddy's Little Cannibal and Bronzehairedgirl620's Epic T Rated Oneshot Contest. Check it out in a bit?**

**NewResolution**

**-Kelsey**


	3. Chapter 3

**Next chapter :)**

**Whispers In The Dark by Skillet. Look it up before reading. **

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_My love is just waiting_

_To turn your tears to roses_

He kept true to his word.

For days following the funeral, he watched her, stayed close to her everywhere she went. The only time he turned away was to give her privacy during her more personal activities. But, he kept her in his sight twenty-four hours a day.

It pained him so deeply to watch her suffer daily. It was obvious to even strangers that this beautiful young girl was in pain; catatonic almost. His angel was nothing more than a shell. Her hollow voice only appeared when asked direct questions and her bottomless, empty eyes flickered everywhere, picking up everything yet nothing at the same time.

The emotional pain was knowing that he put his own love through this. It was his mistakes and the fact that he couldn't be the only one to carry the burden.

But, the physical pain was burning in the back of his throat every day; being so close to dozens of beating hearts, pumping his life source not ten feet away from him at times. Oddly enough, though, _her_ blood did nothing to him. Even stranger though, and slightly frightening, was the fact that he couldn't read her mind like all the other petty humans around her.

One night, while he sat in the chair in her room while she slept, he came up with the realization that every time he even thought of her, the only thing that ran through him was pain, longing, and _love._ It must push away all thoughts of thirst.

And he was thankful.

He studied her intently, remembering all her little quirks and cute habits before the he was drafted away. But, he picked up on new things that he knew she never did before he had to go. Like, how her arms seemed glued around her chest, holding her together; and her fitful sleeps full of screams and terror. The most disturbing though, was how she always seemed so close to the edge of ending her own life, taking away the only thing that he strived to stay human for. The worst thing was how everyone seemed to know how close she was to suicide, but no one did anything about it. Even her own father. It had taken them forever to accept how deep their love ran for each other, but now, after only four days, they were just waiting for her to try to join him. It sickened him.

Every time she got close, every day, he would silently scream at her to stop. He cried to her with every fiber of his being not to leave him. And just like how she always seemed to be able to read his mind before, it was like she heard him and stopped herself. He would shake with her while she collapsed in sobs and his whole body ached to comfort her. His dead heart wasn't even there anymore, it was ripping into shreds everyday with hers.

One night, it became too much. His beautiful woman was thrashing in her bed, tangling the sheets around her and screaming out to the night. His head pounded with pain until he finally snapped.

In an instant, he was kneeling by her head. He stroked the hair away from her damp face and whispered his love to her. He cupped his hands around her small head and willed her sobs to go away. Still whispering and humming, she finally started to quiet until only occasional whimpers escaped her. Her shaking had stopped and she was subconsciously leaning into his hands.

He savored the warmth of her cheeks and longed to just curl her into his arms and never let go.

"Edward," she mumbled.

He almost laughed at her adorable sleep talking, but the pain that laced her voice ran through his cold veins like fire. Painful and burning.

He lied his head on top of hers and tried to control his heaving chest, but he couldn't stop. The dry sobs kept coming and his gasps blew her tangled hair into her face.

He couldn't stand it. He couldn't do it. But he had to. He would endure his pain and hers every day just to protect her. Maybe when the time's right, he might try to make himself shown.

An idea slowly came to him and he felt like kicking himself for being so stupid. He might not be able to show himself to her again, but he can leave her traces of himself. Maybe she's not ready for the new him yet, but he can show her that he's still there and _still loves her._

He would start with her ribbon.

Pulling out the now slightly tattered red ribbon from his back pocket, he slowly stood up from her side and looked around her room. Where should he put it?

Looking back down at her, he realized the answer was right in front of him. She had always loved it when he played with her hair and redoing it the way he wanted.

She was already lying on her side, so that would make it easier. Keeping one hand against her cheek to hopefully keep the dreams away, the other stroked through her long locks. He gently tugged the tangles out and pulled it so it was fanned out behind her. As light as if he was holding a hummingbird, he gathered her hair into the ribbon and tied it so it was out of her face, but still sweeping around her.

He gave one last little tug on the piece of silk when she started to stir under him. Brushing his lips against her forehead for the first time in weeks, he was stunned still for a second. His lips tingled with warmth and electricity and he was pulled harder than ever to sweep her into his arms. But her fluttering eyelids jolted him back to reality and he jumped up and into the shadows.

"I'm still here, my Bella."

_No, you'll never be alone_

_When darkness comes I'll light the night with stars_

_Hear my whispers in the dark_

All she knew was pain. The only thing that pulled her mind back to life was seeing something of his, seeing an old memory.

She kept to herself and no one bothered her. She didn't feel the pitiful stares or hear the whispers. She didn't care. Nothing mattered but him. She couldn't even bring herself to try for her father. And he didn't seem to try any harder than her. They all just watched and waited.

Waiting for what…she pretty much knew.

Every day and all day the major thought running through her was seeing him again. The only thing that kept her slightly sane was knowing that maybe he wasn't gone. Maybe that coffin buried under their feet was empty and he was out there watching her.

What she saw by his grave all those days ago could not have been a hallucination. His solid touch, velvet voice, and sweet smell were all too real. Most of all, why would she dream of an Edward with red eyes and a marble body? He was out there, but was he human?

As she stirred in bed at night, though, she wondered if it mattered. He obviously wasn't out to kill her. And, her love for him would never, _never _die. She knew, too, that his wouldn't either. She may have doubted it before, but her very being told her that his love was as bindingly strong as hers.

She couldn't doubt now because she could _feel it. _She could_ feel him._

_You feel so lonely and ragged_

_You lay there broken and naked_

Every day, every time she came close, she could hear him screaming in her mind. It almost came to a point where she would look forward to wanting to cause herself harm, just to hear him.

Earlier that day, she was peeling potatoes with the kitchen knife. She was looking down at it, thinking of how easily it would be to run through his wrists; she might be with him within minutes. Or even faster would be plunging in into her chest. Like cutting through butter.

But as her hands twitched closer to her, the metal glinting in her eyes, she felt him. He was screaming in her head to stop and drop the knife. To not leave him. She could practically hear the shallow breaths he gulped whenever he used to try to hide his pain from her.

That thought brought a stream of tears from her eyes and the knife clattered to the kitchen floor.

Why was life playing with her so? If he was truly there, wouldn't he come to her? Could he not see how much she was suffering for him? Did he not care? Was this all some sort of twisted dream?

Though it was still early in the evening, she dragged herself up the stairs, leaving the half-full basket of potatoes and ignoring the eyes following her. She couldn't take any more for the day and locked herself in her room.

Trying to wash the tears off her face in the basin in her room did nothing. So, she just settled to changing and crawling into bed.

She tossed and turned for hours, trying to stop the flood of memories of him holding her in his arms when she woke from a dream, or his sweet kisses goodnight or loving good morning kisses. The memories of him climbing into her room in the dead of night when he knew she was lonely; of him hiding in her closet like a child playing hide-and-go-seek when someone would come to check on her.

Her final thought before the fog took over, was wondering if she was going to cry herself to sleep for the rest of her life - however long she decides that might be.

She was having the same bloody dream of Edward's death. The red substance all over her hands and face was his and the screams of agony coming from his mouth were to her.

She watched as he thrashed, looking for her, while she was stuck far away. She didn't struggle to get to him anymore, because she knew she couldn't. She could only watch in pain like every other night.

Suddenly, the scene was shifted. He was lying right beside her on her bed like the old nights and holding her face. She could feel his whispers floating through her mind, not being able to make out the specific sounds and words, but still feeling the love.

He was shaking with silent sobs and she tried to reach out to comfort him, but found herself paralyzed.

Wasn't this supposed to be a happy dream? She had her Edward back.

She looked closer at her dream version of her love and realized that though it was him, it was the new him. The stone-like, broken angel him.

As quickly as his oddly freezing hands were on her face, they were gone. But only for a moment, before one cupped her cheek again while the other played with her hair.

She tried to wake up, hoping this dream was as real as it felt. Hoping that her love was back, no matter how different he may be.

"I'm still here, my Bella," she heard whispered clearly next to her, before her eyes snapped open to darkness.

_Hear the whispers in the dark_

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**Thank you everyone who has reviewed. I'd love to hear anyone's criticism. **

**I'll get the next chapter out the next time I happen to be on the computer. Life is a busy thing. **

**NewResolution**

**-Kelsey**


	4. Chapter 4

**I'm so inconsistent. Call me a bad author, I'm not going to put the summary on every chapter just because I'm so damn forgetful. That's also why I always forget to DISCLAIM that I don't own anything. **

**Next chapter. And NRB, thanks for reviewing although you've already read this. I have edited it a tiiiny bit haha. I love you babe. **

**My song choices aren't that original... Sorry. But the tone fits :)**

**Blue and Yellow by The Used. Look it up before reading.**

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_And it's all in how you mix the two_

_And it starts just where the light exists_

She sat straight up in her bed, her chest rising and falling rapidly while her eyes swung around the room. They lingered on the shadow in the corner behind her chair. Her mind couldn't function why, but somehow she knew she was looking in the right spot.

She knew he was there.

She could feel the familiar tingle run down her spine and the warmth in her bones that his stares always brought.

Her dream wasn't a dream.

She was suddenly glad that she had followed the screaming in her head and stayed around. Since her love really was there, she knew it would only kill him another time if she had taken her own life away.

_I'll always be here, my Bella._ His whisper echoed in her mind. It had sounded so real. Because it was.

Her eyes were very slowly adjusting to the darkness around her and her breathing calmed to a slow, shallow tempo. Her gaze stayed fixed on the dark corner, and she could imagine his piercing eyes boring back into hers, trying to read her mind like she could his.

After an immeasurable amount of time of blank staring and silent debates, the clouds covering the moon floated on and cast a silver glow through the window. And suddenly, a vague, blurry outline of a man was there in the corner.

Her breathing increased speed and she pushed herself back against the headboard. But, seconds after, her brain caught up with her actions and she almost smacked herself. She had probably just given him the idea that she was scared of him.

She pushed herself forward and sat on her knees, staring intently at what she knew was him. After a couple of minutes, the thick wires of tension running between them were too much for her. Edging herself closer to the end of the bed, her heart rate picked up as his shadowed, disheveled hair became clearer.

"E-Edward?" she whispered.

She saw him twitch like something stung him. But, he moved towards her.

Holding her breath, she watched as everything became more in focus. First, his sharply toned body; then, his prominent facial features; until finally, the shocking glint of his eyes in the moonlight. She perched herself on the end and leaned forward, eagerly drinking in his presence.

She had leaned a little too far over the edge and before she had time to realize she was even falling, was trapped in his arms.

She felt his smooth, statue-like body tense around hers as she relaxed into his hold. The smell flowing from him drew her in even further, and she unconsciously got closer to his face. Only inches apart now, she could fully see his eyes. But instead of the old, emerald green, or even the shocking red she was expecting, they were pitch black. They were bottomless, yet showed every emotion whirling through him and they drew her in like a black hole.

Forgetting his inhuman body, forgetting whether his death happened or not, forgetting the icy-hot pain that was gripping her just hours ago, she buried her head in his chest and wrapped her arms around his neck. She squeezed herself as tight to him as she could, looking for the love she needed so badly. Looking for him.

She could feel him slowly relax before suddenly crushing her closer to him, to where it was painful. But she didn't care in the slightest. She could feel his body shaking around hers and realized he was crying those broken sobs she had dreamed of too many times. His pain and sorrow brought her to tears and she cried with him - sharing his pain. The frightening part though, was she couldn't figure out why he was still in so much pain. Wasn't he feeling the same wholesome, glorious feeling she felt at being back in his arms again?

"Edward," she gasped thickly, "Edward, please don't cry."

His pain broke her newly healed heart, but not as bad as before. Not as bad as when she had lost him. Her body ached with his, and she longed to take it away; to carry it all for him.

He choked before properly getting the words out, "Isabella. I'm so sorry."

The shock made her head snap back so she was staring into those two beautiful black holes. "Why?" she whispered.

"All the pain… What I've done to you. My-everything-it's…Oh God, Bella…I can't - it's my entire fault."

She wormed her arm out of his grasp to reach up and hold his face. Oddly enough, his new marble skin was more comforting and she wondered how he could never have been like this before. It was much more _him._

"Don't ever apologize for my love for you," she whispered fiercely. She stared into his eyes and poured her raw emotions out to him through hers, willing him to see how much her love really was, no matter what happened to him.

She found a new emotion flash through his eyes. Her body somehow already knew what it was and her breathing picked up to an almost hyperventilation before she could figure out what was going on.

"How? ...don't you…I can't. I'm sorry, Bella," he choked out.

She suddenly found herself landing on her mattress with a soft bounce, his arms gone from around her. She jumped up and whirled around before stopping in front of the window. It was now open and the light curtain fluttered around it, but there was no breeze to pick it up.

_It's a feeling that you cannot miss_

_And it burns a hole_

_Through everyone that feels it_

He could hear her broken sobs as he ran, and it almost pushed him back to her. Almost, but not quite. His whole body ached to be away from her, to pull away and run away like the coward he was. He had to. The venom pooled on his tongue as he actually smelled her for the first time, and he had come so close to losing control. He tried to convince himself that that was the only reason he was now running through the forest surrounding the little town, but he knew it wasn't.

He was confused and scared. Why hadn't she reacted to his inhuman body like the first time she saw him after his death. This time, she had jumped _into_ his arms.

_Not at first._ He remembered how she had pushed herself away from him when the aggravating moon came through the clouds. But, he couldn't deny the look of frustration she had on her face that he knew was directed to herself. He almost heard her kicking herself inside her head.

So why was he running now? His love obviously accepted him back and still loved him as deeply as when they were both human.

_That was it: she didn't know._ He was scared out of his mind of her reaction when she would find out what he was now. And, as much as he hated to admit it, he knew he would tell her eventually. He couldn't live without her and was already selfishly thinking of bringing her into this life to be with him for eternity. But would he be able to take her life away just for his selfishness?

_She wants you too_, that annoying voice that sounded oddly like her rang in the back of his head.

He pushed himself faster and tried to run the fear off. He just needed time to think, and prayed to any god that would still listen to him now, that she would forgive him for running off. No matter how much he wanted to keep himself away from her for her safety, he knew it was impossible. And this time, he wasn't thinking of his own selfish wants.

_Should've done something but I've done it enough_

_By the way your hands were shaking_

_Rather waste some time with you_

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**Sorry the chapters are so short. But I already have everything pre-written is the good news. So I can just post whenever I have a couple minutes on the computer.**

**Review? :) Thanks everyone who has and I don't care tons for those who haven't. I'm just happy most of you are still reading it. **

**Whole Lotta Love, (vote for Adam L.)**

**NewResolution**

**-Kelsey**


	5. Chapter 5

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**I dedicate this chapter to Stephanie. Also known as Daddy's Little Cannibal for anyone who has read her amazing work. I wish I had something better for her. Stephanie will always be remembered in the world of FanFiction. Rest in Peace. **

**Big chapter. Hope you like it. It's my favorite of them all.**

**Vermillion pt. 2 by Slipknot. Look it up before/while reading.**

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_She seemed dressed in all of me_

_Stretched across my shame_

_All the torment and the pain_

_Leaked through and covered me_

The sobs that she had tried to choke back hours ago kept coming. She had lain awake, staring out of the window he had left through. Her heart hoped desperately to see him leaping back in. She must have done something wrong. Why would he leave?

She bit on the corner of her pillow to try to muffle the heartbreaking cries. This was as bad as the funeral when she thought she would never see him again. No, this was worse. She knew he was alive and out there, and that would just hurt her more if she never saw him again.

"Edward," she cried brokenly.

Eventually, the sky brightened and the sun peaked over the far-off mountains. The bright, orange ball mocked her and glowed in her face, reminding her of the life just beyond her reach. She didn't know what to do. Her mind was a mixed up mess of pain and she couldn't sort it out enough to think straight.

She curled up tighter into a ball and tried to stop the pain sweeping through her. For once since the funeral, she actually wanted to think.

She could hear activity in the floors above and below her and listened to the sounds of the house waking up. She silently wondered if anyone heard her cries the night before, but didn't care enough to linger on it. No one cared before when she was contemplating suicide. Maybe they thought she finally did the deed.

Her thoughts turned bitter and finally strayed off of him for a little bit of peace. And it was then that she finally realized what might bring him back. She didn't know if he still wanted her, but she wasn't going to give up without answers.

As she stood up and gathered her shoes and long overcoat and wrap, she wondered where this sudden confidence came from. Maybe, it was the choruses of his name in her head, the memory of his voice telling his love to her.

She just wanted that back.

She looked out her window and to the ground two stories down. Here? No, she wanted it to be just them, alone, with no chance of anyone finding them.

Turning and walking out of her locked room, she hoped no one would stop her on her way out. She walked through the kitchen and had almost reached the back door when a familiar gruff voice stopped her.

"Isabella?" her father's shocked eyes froze her. She hadn't even noticed him drinking his tea at the table.

She tried to mask her shaking voice with what she hoped was the dead voice she had been using the past days, "Yes, Father?"

He almost dropped his cup. His mouth opened and closed a couple times before he finally sputtered, "Where are you going?"

"Out."

For the first time in a long time, she actually saw the pain in his face - the pain of losing another. At first she felt hidden anger stirring. Where was his pain when she held the knife over her wrist so many times before? But it quickly faded and was replaced with guilt. Not enough to stop her though.

She let her feelings show in her eyes for one last glance, before turning on her heel and running out. She ran past the barn and stables and bunkhouses, not knowing exactly where she was going. For the first time, she noticed the bewildered or sad stares of the people around her. She felt shocked to feel a slight blush in her cheeks. She didn't recognize the adrenaline and emotions pumping through her.

Her feet pushed her into the cool shade of the trees and she ran faster. Only one thought filled her now: _Edward_.

She would gladly leave her old life behind, all the workers and maids and shiny horses parading around; all the cooking she never had to do but wanted to;the important balls and flowing dresses with too-tight corsets. Even her father. She would sacrifice it all for _him_. And if he wouldn't take her, then life wasn't worth living. Nothing is worth anything without him.

She ran and ran and ran. Her clumsiness finally caught up with her and gave her a few falls and cuts. Her overcoat and wrap snagged and tore on branches all the way to her nightdress from last night, and jagged rocks broke into her shoes. Tripping over a large root, she fell onto her stomach and the breath blew out of her.

She lied like that for awhile, letting her breath catch up with her. Slowly looking up, she realized she had fallen right where she wanted to be. The trees arced out in front of her to form a half-circle of sorts around a rocky cliff. She stood up and stumbled into the small clearing. The grass beneath her soaked through her shoes and felt like ice crawling into her skin. She unconsciously shivered before stepping closer to the edge. Far down beneath her was a blank shape of rocks and gravel. She looked down and under her feet were the same sort of slippery rocks; she was standing in a dried out river bed and in front of her used to be a waterfall.

Suddenly, the she felt like someone was there watching her and she whirled around. The rocks clattered under her and echoed around the circle. But no one was there.

She took one last look into the shadows around her before pulling off her overcoat and wrap, and kicking her shoes off. She slowly turned around and faced the wide forest below her. The tops of old trees almost reached up to the edge of her cliff, reaching up to hold her, to stop her. The early sun poured around her, clashing with her mood and what she was about to do.

Taking one last deep breath, the last thing she thought of was the hope that he was here and here for her. She perched on the balls of her feet and spread her arms out.

"NO!" someone roared.

She gasped and shrieked and her body shied on its own accord and started falling forward. Something hard hit her from behind and the force knocked them both over the edge. She felt the familiar marble arms secure around her, and despite the fact that they were both falling, she felt whole and secure. She was with him again. He came back for her.

She heard him grunt above her and could feel his chest rumbling. His arms convulsed around her painfully and he shifted so her back was now pressed against his chest under her. They slammed into the ground faster than she expected, but she was barely jostled at all. He had curled around her and shielded her from the impact.

After a couple of minutes, when the dust had settled, his hold on her relaxed. The rumbling in his chest picked up and she could hear faint growls coming from him. His body shook, but it was from rage. Despite his anger though, he picked her up and cradled her to his chest gently. When they were standing upright, she was able to look down from his arm to the ground they landed on. She was surprised for a moment to see a big crater where flat land was, and if she looked closely, she could see a faint dent that he would fit perfectly into.

She looked up into his eyes calmly. They were now almost all black, with a ring of an orange-ish color around the edges. As she gazed calmly into the face she thought had left her, the rumbling increased volume and the rage took over his features.

"What the _hell?_" he tried to speak calmly, but it was more menacing in the form of his silky words. She slightly flinched back from the venom in his voice.

He instantly sobered and his face drooped. He stared painfully into her eyes. "Sorry," he mumbled.

"Don't be," she said. Her voice was stronger than she felt.

"I didn't mean to scare you," his words held deeper meanings than just startling her with his anger. He avoided her eyes and seemed to have forgotten she was still in his arms. But she didn't, and she wasn't going to object.

She reached both her hands up to cup his face and force him to look at her. "I'm not," she told him with quiet confidence.

He searched her eyes for a minute to convince himself before anger slowly seeped back into his eyes. "Why would you do that?" he demanded.

"For you."

He snarled, startling her again. "Yes, Bella, because I would just love for you to go throw yourself off a cliff."

Bella could see all of his anger, fear, and roaring passion in his eyes as he glared at her. Edward was with her for the moment, but would he leave again?

"Do you care?" she asked in a small voice and looked down from his penetrating eyes.

There was a thick silence hanging between them for a minute before she felt two cold fingers tilt her chin back to meet his eyes. They were filled with pain that stabbed into her chest.

"Why would you say that?" he whispered.

"You left," she whispered, not wanting their voices to break the moment they were in, no matter how painful it felt.

A grimace tainted his perfect face. "Please forgive me."

"Really?" she asked, searching his eyes now. The enraged black was slowly fading from them into the deep red she had witnessed before.

His face took on a determined expression in a sudden mood swing. "Of course, Bella."

As an answer to his question, she quickly leaned forwards and wrapped her arms around his solid body. She buried her face into his neck as the tears started to fall. She didn't know why she was crying. She felt no pain corrupting her heart now with the keeper of it holding her again.

_She is everything to me_

_The unrequited dream_

_A song that no one sings_

As he held her in his arms, as she sobbed relentlessly into his neck, he felt whole and complete. Her tiny arms would have choked a normal human, but he welcomed it. The glorious feeling of her acceptance ran through his still veins and he celebrated inside. He wanted to cry to the heavens that she still wanted him. She might still love him.

He rocked her gently and held her close, wanting her to feel how much he still wanted her. He couldn't believe how she had doubted him.

Or her means of getting him back.

The reminder of her attempted suicide brought the anger and pain back and his body tensed. The growling stirred deep in his chest and he had to control himself to not crush her in his arms.

She pulled back, noticing the change in his mood and stared up at him through her big, brown eyes. The tears slowed and left glistening streaks on her beautifully flushed face. The sight of her broken expression dampened his anger and left behind pain; pain for her.

"Why Bella?" he murmured gently while stroking the tears off of her face, "Why would you try to kill yourself?"

She quietly sucked in a breath and quickly turned her face away to hide her fresh tears. He couldn't decipher the emotion in her eyes.

"Bella?" he took her face in one of his hands and held it close to his. "Love?" he asked quietly.

Her eyes widened at his use of the old name he used for her, and he wondered if he made a mistake. He frantically worried if she didn't love him anymore.

"What?" she asked breathlessly.

"Why would you take yourself away from me?" He stared deep into her eyes, trying to read her mind that was still just as big of a mystery to him as it was when they were both human.

"I…I," she stuttered, "Edward, I'm sorry." His dead heart jumped when his name came from her lips, but he didn't understand why she was apologizing.

He looked at her curiously, but she wasn't looking at him anymore. She was staring into the trees, but not looking at them.

"I was-I was just thinking that, maybe, if you did still l-love me, then you would come for me. But, if you didn't want me anymore… there's no reason to life without you."

His heart cracked with her voice as she spoke and he wondered how he could have _ever _doubted her_. _

He planted a quick kiss on her forehead hoping to bring her attention back to him. It warmed his lips, and he missed the feeling of always being able to do that like he used to. He saw her skin lightly twitch like she had been shocked. Her eyes focused back on them and he saw the same emotions that he was feeling swimming in them.

"I'm sorry I left you last night. It was just… too much," he tried to explain.

He saw the questions in her eyes that he was hoping to avoid. But, he wouldn't intentionally want to keep anything from his Bella.

"What was too much for you, Edward?"

_A catch in my throat choke_

_Torn into pieces_

_I won't_

_No_

_I don't wanna be this_

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**Review?**

**I love you Natalie, my sister. **

**NewResolution**

**-Kelsey**


	6. Chapter 6

**This is the last chapter. **

**I was gonna say it in my last post but I had too much on my mind and forgot.. haha sorry. This was just supposed to be a short story drabble type thing. Like a warm up for the big game :) Stay with me to see what's coming out later and I promise you won't be disappointed. I'm keeping up with my angst theme pretty well. **

**End by Secondhand Serenade. Look it up :) I'm saying that for the last time in this story**

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_Don't let me drown_

_Don't let me drown_

His mind went blank in a sudden panic. He wanted to tell her, wanted to know that she still loved him despite what he was, but couldn't. How was he supposed to tell his love, his soulmate, that he's not human like her anymore, that he's a soulless monster who's fighting not to suck her dry?

She continued to stare curiously at him. He could see his storming fear reflected in her deep eyes, and she softened up. Her hand reached up and cupped his face; her fingers gently ran through the hair behind his ears. He closed his eyes and leaned into her palm, savoring the warmth she brought to his dead body. He would endure the heat in the back of his throat forever just to be with her; he was even slowly getting used to it.

_Baby steps, _he told himself.

"Are you okay?" she whispered softly.

His lips curled up under her hand. "Better than okay," he murmured and he could hear her light heartbeat pick up, making his smile grow.

"You can hear that can't you?" she asked, just as softly, but the curiosity was back.

His breathing hitched and his eyes snapped open to meet her gentle, loyal ones. He wasn't ready yet.

"Shh. When you're ready," she whispered and kept the even stroke in his hair.

He couldn't understand how she was so calm. Why wasn't she scared at all?

Taking a deep breath and closing his eyes again, so he wouldn't have to watch her unnerving lack of ordinary reactions whether they were calm or terrified, he started, "Yes, I can. I hear your heartbeat clearly, though it beats fast like a hummingbird's wings right now." His smile picked back up as he felt the heat in her cheeks from where his face was.

He felt a strange tingling start in the pit of his stomach and spread to his toes. He was suddenly hyper aware of the beautiful girl in his arms, and wanted nothing more than to kiss her and claim her completely as his. The longing to hear the reassurance of her love from her was stronger than before. He briefly wondered how he lasted almost a week without her by his side.

He eyes snapped open faster than before, and he could feel the raw emotion in his eyes. Her breathing stopped with her heartbeat for a split second before racing faster than before. Her lips parted and he could smell her warm breath fanning across his face.

_Baby steps?_

"Bella," he whispered, needing to get it out before it was too late, "I love you, Bella. I've wanted to tell you this whole past week we've been apart. It's been unbearable for me and I can't stand it anymore. I love you so much Bella, maybe even more than before I was changed. All of the pain you've suffered for me - I can't apologize enough. And, all the pain I've tried to take from you, all the wrongs I've tried to fix and couldn't, despite all the obstacles, the connection between our souls will always be clear and I know for the rest of my existence that I will _always_ love you. You will always be _my _Bella. I will never leave your side unless it's by your word." He pressed his forehead against hers and stared into her wide eyes.

He finally felt free. He felt light and more alive than ever. Even more than when they had first proclaimed their love for each other, more than their first kiss, more than her agreement to wed; because, as he stared into her eyes, he could see her love. He could finally see the love, acceptance, loyalty, trust, happiness, the feelings that he had been hoping to find.

His nose skimmed across hers and he breathed in her natural, lush, floral smell. Her deep breaths indicated she was doing the same thing. His lips were now centimeters from hers and he could feel them sparking in anticipation.

"Edward," she breathed, "I love you too. More than words. More than anything. I would - I _have _sacrificed everything for you."

Regret squirmed in him, but she saw it in his eyes before he could voice it. "No, don't say it. Because I don't regret it at all, and you sure shouldn't."

He smiled widely and noticed her eyes glaze over for a second. He brushed his lips across her nose and she focused on him again.

"Not fair," she whispered, more out of breath than before.

He refrained from chuckling, "What isn't?"

"You. Doing that to me, dazzling me."

He was dazzling her? He didn't expect her to be under the same spell he was from her.

"On the contrary," he whispered huskily, "You hold that power over me."

Her cheeks flushed a deliciously rosy color, but drinking was far from his mind now. Without warning, he pressed her closer to him and brought his lips down to hers almost forcefully. She was shocked still for a second, before locking herself tightly to him and moving her lips with his. They moved in perfect rhythm, a dance to a song that only their hearts know. Her arms tightened around his neck in an attempt to be closer, and he briefly wished he could without crushing her.

But, all thoughts flew out of his head when her warm tongue softly caressed his bottom lip. His senses were suddenly overloaded and he pulled back sharply in an effort to keep her safe. But like the gravitational pull of a star and its moon, he couldn't stay away from her. His lips traveled along her jaw and down to her neck. He stopped on her pulse point and felt the blood pounding beneath his lips. He felt her soft fingers pulling through his hair and he wanted to never move, to stay in her embrace forever and never doubt her love. His tongue flicked out and tasked the satin skin. When he felt and heard the deep sigh in the back of her throat, everything in him collapsed.

Before he knew what was happening, His razor teeth were sunken into her neck and he was lightly sucking the blood towards him. When the first drop touched his mouth, he recoiled like he had been burned, for the blood was the shock of what he had just done and the love he had just destroyed.

What shocked him most though, was the peaceful set of her face. Her eyes burned with the pain of the fire inside of her, but she didn't scream or lash out.

"Bella, no… I'm so sorry. What have I done?" he groaned.

"Shh," she whispered again, only he could hear the internal pain lacing her voice, "It's okay."

He was shocked that _she _was comforting _him. _

"I just regret one thing," she said almost inaudibly, for the pain was stealing her breath away.

The air burned in his throat as he waited for her answer. Did she regret kissing him? Loving him?

She continued without an answer, "I wish I could say beautiful words like you do to shout my love for you."

He choked back a laugh and had to marvel at the girl in front of him. Despite the situation she was just thrust into, she still loved. He let his heart hope that maybe everything would turn out okay.

Her eyes closed and she cringed. Her breathing turned ragged and the heat on her face would never be there again after these three long days were over. Small whimpers escaped her blue lips. She bit the inside of her cheek to try to hold them back, but a low shriek finally broke through.

He cradled her to his chest, hoping his cold body would offer a tiny bit of comfort. He sank to the ground and held her in his lap, rocking her and whispering and humming in her ear. His heart was torn with the sorrow of doing this to his love. She loved him and trusted him, and look what he did to her.

A dry sob bubbled up his throat and the small hope in his chest died as another heartbreaking cry came from the mouth of his angel.

_I tried to be_

_I can't get you out of my lonely mind_

_I'm suffering_

_How did I die_

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**Review for the last time! All you amazing people who have favorited and alerted this story and are looking at that green button right now, you know you want to. Or even if you don't, you know I want you to :)**

**Thank you so much for everyone who has read this. Hope you all enjoyed it. Even you people who have been reading this without alerting or anything, yeah I know you're there, because I do the same thing. Thanks for stickin with me.**

**Check out my profile in awhile to see what's next. I'm excited, hope you are**

**Hate no one**

**NewResolution**

**-Love Kelsey**


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